Instant Curmudgeon
One game and I’m already sick of this team. For starters, I’d like to thank guys like Steve Eminger and Roszival for looking like garbage already. I’m sure we’ll be able to stay on a tear once Stepoff...
View ArticleInstant Curmudgeon – The Curse Of Stepan
Toronto. To. Ron. To. We just lost to a team whose main scoring threats are a guy with one testicle and a guy named Clarke MacArthur. How can you even take him seriously? What is that extra e doing on...
View ArticleInstant Curmudgeon – Looking Solid!
Solid like a fucking grape! What’s squishy, looks ok on the outside, leaves a bitter taste on your mouth on the inside? That’s right, a sour goddamn grape. Which team is great at giving out, by the...
View ArticleInstant Curmudgeon – Well, Whaddya Know?
Oh, hey! A win! And we allowed fewer than 3 goals! At the same time! How strange. How could that have happened? I’m baffled. It seems so out of character for this team. I guess nothing could be new in...
View ArticleInstant Curmudgeon – Lunatic Night
Was tonight dumb goon night or something? Avery melts down, Boogaard fights, Prust fights, Boogaard edges dangerously close to Hollwegian territory as he takes a boarding penalty… it’s like moron...
View ArticleInstant Curmudgeon – Bleh
Yay. We won, against the team so awful it thought scratching Ilya Kovalchuk was the answer to their problems. I see he’s looking real motivated, what with his solo goal that wasn’t nearly enough. The...
View ArticleEventual Curmudgeon – Whatever
Oh look. We beat Toronto. Yippee. While you guys were watching us play a vastly overrated hockey team, I was out chilling with sexy vampires, nurses and maids. So, I mean, right there is a reason this...
View ArticleEventual Curmudgeon – Sheez
I’m not really thrilled with this offense at all. It’s never a good sign when you need guys like Erik Christensen and Brandon Prust to team up for a game-winner against a guy like Marty Turco. Dude’s...
View ArticleEventual Curmudgeon – Lame
Wow, we beat Johan Hedberg! Quite the accomplishment. We also shut down the elite talents of Rod Pelley, Alexander Urbom and Alexander Vasyunov. They’re pretty good, whoever the hell they are. I mean,...
View ArticleInstant Pessimist – More Like Tootout
We’re #6! We’re #6! We’re #6! And we beat #12! Aw-right! We got a real solid game from our goalie who we can rely on for a solid GAA, we got a third stringer call up to shoot on, we got Gaborik back to...
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